FAB AVE.

"The Guide to Being a Showstopper"

By Jónaye Taylor

Do you ever wonder why only certain people receive so much attention? Some may think to himself or herself, "What does she (or he) have that I don't possess?" Then, you become green with envy, snub your nose at them and before you know it, you are labeled a "hater." That's right I said it, you are indeed diagnosed with the hater syndrome! Luckily, it does not have to be that way because there is a cure. There comes a time when you have to stop allowing yourself to be a benchwarmer and get yourself into the game.  If you don't know how, then that is why I am here to teach you grasshopper.

You may remember that 2006 hit song by the defunct group Danity Kane called "Showstopper." The five girls were chanting, "we showstoppin', we show, showstoppin'." That song was and still is totally awesome and quite frankly it is a mini-girls anthem! I say mini only because women have had colossal anthems like Destiny's Child's, "Independent Women" and TLC's, "No Scrubs", "Showstopper" never quite made it to that level, however I would still throw it into that classic category.

Anyway, now back to our regularly scheduled programming. I want that to be you, and I want what's best for you like how Momma always says. Now let's get down to the nitty gritty. Number one, have confidence oozing through your pores! Your confidence needs to be bigger than the world's tallest skyscraper. Confidence is the biggest accessory one could have in their possession. You can wear anything in the world, even a garbage bag (like Missy Elliot), but if you don't "own" what you are wearing, then the garment is wearing you. A prime example of this would be a celebrity on the red carpet wearing the most hideous outfit. They are getting trashed by the fashion commentators, however the celebrity never breaks a sweat, they simply continue to cruise the red carpet in their ugly outfit with their head held high to the sky. In addition, you must exude confidence at all times, even if you are not the best-looking person. Some of the ugliest people (inside and out) have the biggest amount of confidence within themselves, which makes them appear as if they are the best-looking person in the room.

Number two out of five on the list to becoming a showstopper is...having inexpensive clothing that appears expensive. Never ever wear something --- especially when going out for a night on the town --- cheap that looks cheap (i.e. clothes from the mortifying store Rainbow). If your outfit cost $55 make it look as if it cost $555 by upping the amp with the hottest shoes on the market (something with studs or crystals or both). By the way, if your outfit is $205 then make it look as if it cost $2005 by adding some faux fur into the mix. As I always claim, you don't have to break your pockets in order to look like your pockets are "fat' or "phat," however, these young kids are spelling it these days.

Number three, when in doubt...don't. It is one of my classic rules. If you are uncertain as to if your outfit looks crazy, more than likely it probably does. Take a look in the mirror and concentrate on evaluating your appearance. If you think your outfit is hot when it's really not, then as the old saying goes: "You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

Number four, showstopping requires being over the top. Please do not misconstrue being over the top for being loud and outright tacky. The jewelry should be grand; the hair, nails and shoes must be on point. Possibly if you can do so, the vehicle should be grand. If you are in the same predicament as me then why not borrow your parents' BMW when going out, as long as you don't get it scratched

Number five (thankfully we've made it this far alive), always smile. Pleasant attitudes are a must have! You may be put into multiple scenarios when someone hates on you (you've traded in your hater's card) because of your newfound showstopperness, their man may be checking your out or someone else may have on your same outfit. Always remember to conduct yourself in a showstopper manner by remembering to be a lady, smiling at the hater and keeping it moving. Real showstoppers have no time for the drama because they are too busy showstopping!

If you remember these five basic rules then they shall set you free. You will successfully be inducted into the league with other showstoppers!